Cannon Center Food... Is This Thing Still Breathing?

Okay, maybe the title is a little bit of an exaggeration; the food at the Cannon Center really isn't all that bad and I should probably just be grateful to receive three free meals a day. But sometimes I look at the food they serve and think, "What is that and where did it come from?"

Let me provide some examples that prove my point: A couple of days ago, one of my coworkers (Jessica, I think) had a dish on her tray that looked like it contained chicken poppers or some other form of chicken nuggets, which is one of my absolute favorite foods. Of course, I asked her if I could have one. But was it chicken? No. It was creamed corn that had been battered and then deep fried. What the heck? Who does that?

Another example: sometimes they have this couscous dish at the salad bar which usually looks pretty fresh and tasty; it has tomatoes, green onions, sometimes olives. But it is the most nasty nast bland stuff ever. And for some reason, I always get it... maybe there's some kind of addictive substance added to it? And one time I got it and the couscous was all mashed up... the texture was so gross that I almost threw up (and it takes a lot to make me almost vomit). Imagine the texture of applesauce with the taste of, well, nothing. It was nasty nast.

So what's a safe alternative when the main dish of the day looks iffy and you're tired of the same pasta dish every day? A good old, American hamburger at the burger bar, right? But wait. In order to win your meal, you must first make it past the dragon lady, who's looks breath fire and mouth has tasted the flesh of many a freshman. So far, I have been the only person around who has even come close to taming her. However, sometimes even my charm isn't enough and I end up whimpering back to my table, victorious french fries in hand at the cost of singed eyebrows.

The Cannon Center isn't all bad though. I am literally in love with their bread pudding and my coworkers will attest that I will oftentimes end a meal with three helpings (which usually adds five pounds to my weight the next day). Don't ask me what keeps me returning to the dessert bar for bread pudding like an excited little schoolboy on Christmas day (or Blake during EFY check-ins). Perhaps it's my English ancestry crying for wholesome food.
And for the most part, the Cannon Center workers are very polite and jovial. So many times my day is made by a smile or even a polite greeting and use of my name as I swipe my card for one of my daily meals (at least four of the workers have taken the time to learn my name).

All in all, if one can make it past the rubbery meat and the food that has been so saturated in fat that my heart aches (literally), the Cannon Center isn't that bad of a place. I have gained ten pounds since the beginning of the summer and I'm afraid to say that it's not all from muscle gain (although I am pretty ripped, if I do say so myself). Plus, the soft food has definitely made digestion easier (sometimes too easy, especially after biscuits and gravy if you know what I mean).

And so, my dear Cannon Commons, I salute you. I salute your food dripping in saturated fat. I salute your greasy haired worker and dragon guardian. I salute your hallowed halls filled with overly-excited (and BO smelling) camp participants. And I salute your commitment to keep the Honor Code alive, sending away the slightly scruffy RA but admitting the football jock wearing a cutoff T-shirt and tight spandex shorts. Thank you.